Archives for posts with tag: zine

CDC5

Given sufficient passage of time, any cultural compost will, it seems, eventually take on a patina of fond remembrance; but Joey Steel, in his April 2012 Blood Video write-up “Bio-Terror and the VHS Freedom Fighters: How VHS Tapes Stop Disease, Fight Terrorists, and Show What Real Terror on Tape Looks Like”, may be going a bit too far. Steel’s tone is, of course, largely sarcastic; but the idea of a hipster collector subculture sprouting up around boring Bush-era propaganda videos is almost too much to bear. Here is what Steel has to say for himself:

CDCWhen terrorists attack, how will America defend itself? What cutting edge technologies will the US and its legion of limitless resource turn to [in order to] rid the world of the freedom hating masses? As per all things, the only real answer to these questions can be given by the dedicated, and often lonely, VHS hunters.

Look, we all know that terrorists are technophiles. They have become obsessed with fickle fads [such] as the internet and computer systems, or such foolish ventures like high speed encrypted communication and genetically engineered bio-weapons. The USA does not follow flash in the pan fads. It holds steadfast to the classics. It knows not to give up a good thing when it has one. Like ignorant racial prejudice and religious intolerance the US is not gonna move forward without a fight.

In the wake of the 9/11 terror attacks, the US state was in a panic to unify and prepare its forces for battle against the world wide jihad conspiracy. In its infinite wisdom that the internet was not secure, and worked far too slow to update its people with blitzkrieg speed, the US government issued VHS tapes on how to deal with BIOTERRORISM!

CDC3I picked up these two tapes a few months ago, CDC RESPONDS: BIOTERRORISM AND THE HEALTHCARE EPIDEMIOLOGY / INFECTION CONTROL TEAM made November 16th, 2001 and CDC RESPONDS: RISK COMMUNICATION AND BIOTERRORISM made December 6th, 2001. They are both from the US Department of Health and Human Services / CDC / Public Health Service. They are totally legit, and throughout the tapes drop little post 9/11 reminders of how soon these were made following that attack.

These two tapes are more than just collectables. They are shrines to America. They are gems of the battle for justice and freedom … well not justice really, or freedom, but fuck the terrorists. These are gems from the battle to fuck terrorists. Hell yeah, America.

It is a well known fact that over 99% of all terrorists are strict DVD users. It is well known that when you want to battle fast moving diseases released by smoothly operating terror cells communication is the key. And the key to that key is VHS.

CDC2Sure, they are insanely boring, hugely and horribly painful to watch, but I watched them as part of my civic duty. We watch bad movies all the time. Watching bad shit is part of our job. If it was easy to watch this crap, everyone would do this. This is not your everyday crap, no. These tapes are so much more. They are monuments to the impending doom of this great dinosaur we call the USA.

Let’s drop the laughable pretext here, people. No more funny stuff. These tapes are a painful reminder at [i.e., of] the dusty and outdated system we have. Sure the tapes are stylish, and hilarious. But beyond the sweet sleek style of the tape, and the silly glowing blue background of the banal […] set design. These tapes were actually produced with money, and were long as hell. THEN they were sent around with 1-800 numbers and talked about how people can prepare to better communicate about bioterrorism. I can’t make this shit up!

CDC4What a shocking and horrific joke that the ass-heads who run this gluttonous pig would actually make these videos in the year 2001. That tapes that are touting the most efficient and streamlined ways to communicate are educating their teams that small mailed VHS tapes and 1-800 numbers would be effective ways to contain bioterrorists.

These terror tapes are more than just obscure collectables of hard to find tapes; they are dark foreshadows of America’s ugly death at the hand of some luddite terrorist who was still more tech savvy than those pure bred retards who put this defense strategy together. Cash in your chips, and lock up your tapes, when the wall comes tumbling down VHS is going to be worth more than gold, and you are not going to want the bio-weapons messing up your ribbons.

We can all rest easy tonight knowing that on the front line of defeating these haters of freedom is the US State Department and their VHS recorders. Sleep tight, terror fiends. And remember the real horrors will always be on VHS.

Regular readers of this blog know that I watch a lot of horrible movies, but even I could probably never muster the fortitude and attention span exceptionalism to sit through boredom-threat-level-red crap like this!

Rainer Chlodwig von Kook

Public Ransom

A psychological quasi-thriller for the Clerks crowd, A Public Ransom stars Carlyle Edwards as Steven, an unemployed fiction writer, self-described “twat”, and moocher who gets an idea for a story when he spots an unusual, crayon-scrawled notice about a missing child. Hoping to do some research for his fiction, Steven calls the number on the poster and gets into contact with a mysterious man named Bryant (Goodloe Byron). It never occurs to Steven, a bored and callous intellectual, that a real person might actually have been kidnapped, but that is exactly what Bryant nonchalantly admits to doing. Steven is informed that he has two weeks to produce $2,000, or else the little girl is going to be killed. Steven, preferring to believe that the whole affair is a prank – and yet perturbed by what seems to be Bryant’s story’s authenticity – sets to composing “A Public Ransom”, selfishly hoping for the best. The premise is a bit outlandish, but after all requires only the viewer’s belief in an individual of extreme eccentricity and sadistic inspiration, of which history offers more than a few examples.

A Public Ransom is as dark a film as one is likely to see this year. The viewer must endure the uncomfortable tactile presence of waste and moral grime and spend time with unappealing characters. The film makes other demands of its audience, as well: to be patient, enjoy joylessness, and find entertainment and tension in such sights as a guy in a t-shirt sitting alone and talking to somebody on the phone; a guy in a plaid shirt sitting alone and talking to somebody on the phone; and a guy who, to the untrained eye, appears to be sitting at a table, doing absolutely nothing. Fortunately, Carlyle Edwards is an actor who can make such moments not only tolerable but interesting. The strongest, most haunting scene in A Public Ransom has solitary Steven waiting at a bus stop in the middle of the night, with nothing but the sound of the void around him.

A Public Ransom advertises the influence of Jim Jarmusch, with the poster for Stranger than Paradise visible on Steven’s wall. Like Jarmusch, director Pablo D’Stair’s film shows a fondness for static shots and the intermingling of the strange and mundane; but it is not nearly as outsized or as affected in its weirdness. The sharp, icy exchanges between Steven and Bryant are highlights and filled with the loudest silence. Elsewhere, music is superfluous and annoying and hurts scenes that would have been better served without adornment. One crucial dialogue at the end of the film is damaged by the less-than-convincing performance of Helen Bonaparte, who plays Steven’s platonic friend Rene. These failings, however, temporarily mitigate rather than sabotage the story’s overall effectiveness. Never in recent memory has the disclaimer that “The preceding film is a work of fiction” been so reassuring. Or is it?

4 of 5 possible stars. Ideological Content Analysis indicates that A Public Ransom is:

3. Tobacco-ambivalent. A cigarette serves as the death-teasing prop of a vulgar and frustrated ne’er-do-well who nevertheless cuts a sophisticated figure while smoking and gesticulating with it.

2. Un-p.c. Steven makes liberal use of words like “cunt”, “bitch”, and “slut”, and says that Bryant looks “retarded”.

1. Anti-feminist. Rene’s “militant feminism”, Steven informs her, “keeps the elusive gentleman caller from the doorknocker – that, you know, long-delayed but always expected something that we live for.” The fact that the creepy Bryant is apparently representative of the sort of men who make themselves available to Rene would seem to corroborate Steven’s claim. Even more devastatingly, Steven himself, in his worthlessness, illustrates the undying crime done to this civilization by feminism. In the absence of actual ladies (i.e., women of decent behavior, moral merit, and femininity), men have much less motivation and warrant to be polite, to advance themselves (“Work is a cunt,” Steven gripes), or to give the weaker sex the respect they have come to demand instead of earn. Women no longer inspire in men (as Jack Nicholson’s character puts it in As Good as It Gets) the necessary desire to become better men. The result, of course, is suggested by the working title of Steven’s story: “A Society of Fiends”.

[A Public Ransom can be seen at Vimeo, and more information is available here.]

IRRUSSIANALITY

Russia, the West, and the world

Muunyayo

Farawaysick for a High Trust Society...

Fear of Blogging

"With enough courage, you can do without a reputation."

Alt of Center

Life. Liberty. And the Pursuit of Beauty

The Alternative Right

Giving My Alt-Right perspective

Logos

| literature |

The Espresso Stalinist

Wake Up to the Smell of Class Struggle ☭

parallelplace

Just another WordPress.com site

NotPoliticallyCorrect

Human Biodiversity, IQ, Evolutionary Psychology, Epigenetics and Evolution

Christopher Othen

Bad People, Strange Times, Good Books

Historical Tribune

The Factual Review

Economic & Multicultural Terrorism

Delves into the socioeconomic & political forces destroying our Country: White & Christian Genocide.

Ashraf Ezzat

Author and Filmmaker

ProphetPX on WordPress

Jesus-believing U.S. Constitutionalist EXPOSING Satanic globalist SCAMS & TRAITORS in Kansas, America, and the World at-large. Jesus and BIBLE Truth SHALL PREVAIL!