Archives for posts with tag: remake

cabin-fever-poster

This pointless reboot of the Cabin Fever franchise serves no purpose whatsoever apart from making a few cruddy shekels, as very little of value has changed since the original. Furthermore, most of the offbeat humor that was present in the first film is disappointingly missing from this comparatively straight-faced and innocuous remake. Most disappointingly, Deputy Winston, the inscrutable party guy played by Giuseppe Andrews in the 2002 version has been replaced by a scar-faced bisexual deputy played by Louise Linton. Curiously, like the first film, Cabin Fever ’16 also fails to exploit the comedic potential latent in the suggested premise of whether or not a character could survive a horror movie while only subsisting on beer. The leg-shaving scene is perhaps more horrific than in Eli Roth’s original; but, throw in a generic cast and some unappealing tattoos on one of the women, and what the viewer has is a passable but decidedly underachieving horror outing.

3 out of 5 stars. Ideological Content Analysis indicates that Cabin Fever is:

4. Luddite! One vacationer mistakes his video game experience for “years of training” for the handling of a firearm. Karen (Gage Golightly), preoccupied by her cell phone, has to be reminded to enjoy the outdoors.

3. Anti-gay, furnishing publicity for an abnormal lifestyle but presenting a comically grotesque example of a lesbian in law enforcement.

2. Anti-redneck (i.e., anti-white), offering the typically creepy depictions of backwoods European-Americans. The film fails to reference any other races’ parasitic roles in the world economy, but does refer to “hillbilly vampires”. One rustic local is dubbed “Deliverance”. A faded American flag visible at the rednecks’ dilapidated gas station would seem to connect white trash with the idea of America’s decline – possibly in connection with supposed wars for oil.

1. Anti-gun. Bert (Dustin Ingram), the least mature of the vacationers, brings an “assault rifle” and accidentally shoots a man.

Rainer Chlodwig von K.

Red Dawn poster

A shameless stain on the legacy of the 1984 John Milius classic, this insufferably p.c. 2012 remake pits a multiracial mix of forgettable youngsters against invading North Koreans. Chris Hemsworth has clearly been cast for a passing resemblance to Patrick Swayze, but neither he nor anybody else in the cast can redeem this erratic, soulless dreck. Gone are the gorgeous score, the memorable characters, and the sense of a real place and community that charged the original with such emotion and roused viewers to patriotic outrage. When, contrarily, all that the Wolverines stand to lose in their war is Barack Hussein Obama’s America, where are the dramatic stakes?             

2 stars. Ideological Content Analysis indicates that Red Dawn is:

3. Pro-miscegenation. Girls express disappointment that a strapping young black buck dismisses them as unworthy of him.

2. Multiculturalist. Celebrating the contributions of citizens of all colors, the remake makes sure to include an Asian-American soldier so as to counterbalance the negative impression given by the totalitarian North Koreans.

1. Neoconservative. A confused montage of news clips gets across the idea that the world is in the grip of a confluence of crises and that Obama’s presidency coincides with American decline. Among the broadcast snippets is an assertion that America’s military is overextended abroad; but, rather than being a reasonable caution against unnecessary overseas adventurism, this is likely included by way of panhandling for an even more bloated defense budget. The lame choice of invaders corroborates George W. Bush’s “Axis of Evil” speech, and the additional revelation that the Russians are backing them goes along with the prevailing Zionist anti-Russian demagoguery spewed by the likes of Mitt Romney, who during his presidential campaign referred to Russia as “America’s number one geopolitical foe”.

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