Archives for posts with tag: Exorcist

Those attracted by top-billed Danny Trejo, who plays a priest named Father Connely [sic], will be disappointed to learn that the haggard actor dies in the opening scene of this oddball Christian horror film. Likewise, Eric Roberts, the other celebrity name in the cast, has only a smallish role as the sinister Father Tollman. Whether or not The Cloth offers any other inducements will be a matter mainly of the individual viewer’s interest in religion, exorcism, and copious low-grade CGI.

Following the deaths of his parents and his disillusionment at the acquittal of a murderous drunk driver, young Jason (Kyler Willett) would be content to spend his life in hedonistic abandon, clubbing, drinking, and bagging chicks; but Father Diekman (Lassiter Holmes) has other plans for the lad. Diekman belongs to a secret order of special ops clergy, The Cloth, that wages Hellboyish war on the unholy through exorcism and spiritualized gunplay. Jason, though reluctant to join at first, becomes a convert when confronted with demons firsthand. Soon, with the salutary example of sexy but modest Laurel (Perla Rodriguez) and gunsmith Helix (Cameron White) to guide him, Jason is utilizing a silly array of Christian weaponry like holy water grenades, armor forged from materials in the Ark of the Covenant, and corny CGI firepower to dispatch the Devil’s minions.

Kyler Willett is handsome and likable enough as smart aleck hero Jason, but Lassiter Holmes, true to his name, tends rather too much toward lassitude as the boring Father Diekman, an uninspiring mentor to say the least. Rodriguez gets a lot of mileage from coyly brushing the hair from her eyes, and White lends just the right mix of class and kitsch with his English accent and tacky Christian t-shirts that say things like, “Exorcise regularly.” The dialogue does sometimes leave these actors in the lurch, however, and never rises above the mildly amusing level of, “That’s holy water – bitch.”

More damaging than any shortcomings of casting, however, are the filmmakers’ insistence on bringing to the screen effects-reliant phantasmagorias that are simply beyond the means of such a limited budget. The action sequences, too, are sometimes overly abrupt and insufficiently covered. The Cloth, consequently, is about as scary as the cover of the Louvin Brothers’ album Satan Is Real. Those interested in studying or actualizing the cavernous blackness of the Catholic imagination would do better to turn to the philosophical horrors of William Peter Blatty, The Ninth Configuration and Exorcist III, which rely on depth of atmosphere and the weight of ideas rather than special effects to keep audiences alert and entertained.

Ideological Content Analysis indicates that The Cloth is:

11. Anti-state. As an unjust court decision demonstrates, justice is to be had not through secular law, but through the arms of a militant Church.

10. Anti-capitalistic. A priest taking diabolical bribes is unwilling to assist a poor parishioner whose contribution is understandably small. This venal villain is repaid handsomely when coins pour from his mouth in a torrent.

9. Pro-life. Jason’s father, Diekman relates, resisted the counsel to “terminate” Laurel’s life when she was possessed and instead chose to see the potential for good in her.

8. Anti-drug. Drinking and driving means accidents. Jason, a drinker at the beginning of the film, later fills his hip flask with holy water. The Devil’s possessed snort lines of cocaine.

7. Multiculturalist. Anglos and Hispanics work together more than once. “The very basis of our beliefs stems from the arrival of the Apostles from such places as Jerusalem, Africa, and even Asia.” (cf. no. 3)

6. Pro-gun. One gun owner standing in the way of the Cloth’s mission brandishes his weapon threateningly, but firearms are for the most part represented positively as indispensable implements of the Lord’s work.

5. Miscegenation-ambivalent. Jason and white-enough Hispanic cutie Laurel walk away hand-in-hand at the end, but interracial pairings of spicier stuff are strictly the province of the Devil.

4. Anti-slut/anti-gay. Good girl Laurel represents sexual modesty charmingly. Laurel, initially rejecting Jason’s advances, tells him, “My beliefs come before my own personal desires.” Fornicators are more than once destroyed by demonic power or disfigured. Cohabitation is also discouraged, as Jason’s devilish ex-girlfriend leaves an odor of sulfur in his apartment. The Devil’s hos, naturally, are promiscuous lesbos. The Cloth would also appear to frown on tattoos.

3. Racist! Clearly self-loathing black writer-director Justin Price casts himself as the demon Kasdeyah, Satan’s emissary on Earth. Minorities are disproportionately represented among the possessed (cf. no. 7).

2. Traditionalist/pro-family. Jason, though he has long resented and misunderstood his father, comes to follow in his footsteps both professionally and spiritually.

1. Christian and specifically Catholic. Latin mumbo jumbo works! Laurel, explaining away the occasional bad apple in the clergy, claims, “There’s no such thing as corruption in the Church, Jason. The only Church that has ever existed lies within.”

The Possession, or as I prefer to dub it, The Jewish Exorcist – or, alternately, Yahweh Got Game – is at heart a neurotic family drama set in motion by the divorce of apparently secular Jewish parents Clyde and Stephanie Breneck (Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Kyra Sedgwick).   Expectedly, this has upset the lives of their adolescent daughters Hannah (Madison Davenport) and, more markedly, Emily (Natasha Calis).  Even worse, Mrs. Breneck has begun dating an Anglo-Saxon dentist and Wagner fan (Grant Show) – which is to say, a crypto-Nazi on all three counts – thus further diminishing the chance that this broken family will ever be put back together again.

Shit really starts to hit the fan, though, when Mr. Breneck buys Emily a mysterious wooden box at a yard sale.  We know the box is bad news because, in an earlier scene an old woman, its previous owner, hears it whispering Jewish gibberish at her and decides to try to beat it with a hammer, but only gets a thrashing and body-slamming from an invisible entity for her trouble.  Her son, a nice middle-aged Jewish boy who just then happened to be stopping by to visit Momma, sees nothing wrong with passing the curse on to somebody else if he can make a buck, and sells the troublesome antique to unsuspecting Mr. Breneck.  Slightly reminiscent of the Hellraiser puzzle box, but scarier because it’s bigger, covered with Hebrew abracadabra, and full of creepy, crusty Jewish stuff, this “box” – which, unfortunately for everyone involved, contains a dybbuk, or cranky, perpetually whispering, old Jewish hag, plus a host of annoying Jewish moths that infest the house – becomes an immediate obsession of pubescent Emily, who develops a sharp possessiveness and sensitivity about having her “box” touched, preferring, rather, that she should be the only one to handle her “box”.

Tragically, several people, beginning with her father, also want to touch Emily’s “box”, and that always leads to trouble.  When he becomes concerned that the “box” is causing Emily to misbehave, Mr. Breneck tosses it into a dumpster, but that only causes her to run out of the house, psychically pinpoint and retrieve it, and vomit a lot of Jewish moths.  When a mischievous schoolmate touches her “box”, he gets a vicious feminist beatdown, and when her black teacher, Miss Shandy, i.e., shady shine or schvartse shiksa (Brenda Crichlow), confiscates Emily’s “box” and then, like a street thug, tries to prize it open with a knife, her eyes start leaking blood and before you know it the “box” has asserted its will and exacted its Jewish revenge.  The crypto-Nazi dentist, who never touches Emily’s “box” but probably wants to, must, of course, also be punished, if only for liking Wagner operas; and, after Emily lures him toward her by giving him come-hither goth-slut stares, she grabs some well-deserved Holocaust reparations by telekinetically and bloodily extracting all of his Anglo-Saxon teeth.

Mr. Breneck, fortunately, has seen the original Exorcist and realizes he’s in over his head; consequently, after surfing the net and watching some exorcism videos, he gets religion and drives to New York to try to guilt-trip some rabbis into helping a brother out.  One of them, Tzadok (“Hasidic Reggae Superstar” Matisyahu) – the titular Jewish Exorcist! – mans up and agrees to throw down and from that point you just know the dybbuk’s days in possession of little Emily are numbered.  Jewish mystical mumbo-jumbo, after all, is pungent medicine, and – while less frequently prescribed, perhaps, than other varieties of movie mumbo-jumbo – easily trumps medievalist Tolkien tomfoolery, voodoo, gypsy curses, santeria, snake-charming, evangelical tongue-speaking and laying-on of hands, and costumed Catholic Latin-spouting and incense-swinging, for instance, as the premier form of unrestricted spiritual warfare on the silver screen.

Disorienting aerial shots occasionally remind us that Yahweh, like some sociopathic, masturbating voyeur, is watching everything that happens on earth, and can smite the gentiles at any moment the sanctity of the Jewish “box” is challenged.  He, in His omnipresence, is the true hero or the vengeful eminence grise of The Jewish Exorcist.  Through His unwitting agent, the dybbuk, He orchestrates and manifests His almighty will; and, while the dybbuk is identified as a force of “evil”, we must grant that this vicious old hag has ultimately effected a positive outcome by causing, albeit unintentionally, the reunion of a family and presumably also the eventual restoration of the Yahweh-approved sacrament of holy matrimony.

Unintentionally funny more often than scary, The Jewish Exorcist does, in its defense, contain two or three moments that could pass for a species of low-voltage suspense, and the actors are generally fun to watch as they make total fools of themselves.

Ideological Content Analysis indicates that The Jewish Exorcist is:

3. Racist and especially anti-Negro.  Mr. Breneck is a college basketball coach by profession and in one scene we see him in action, honing his team by means of a peculiar imaginary ball exercise.  The Jewish Exorcist would have us understand that black guys wouldn’t even know how to dribble a ball unless there was a Jewish professor on hand to tell them how it’s done and train them by means of a creative psychological experiment.  Apart from this scene and the aforementioned sorrowful fate of Miss Shandy, there is the conspicuously placed deflated basketball amid the wreckage resulting from the film’s final jump-scare: a reminder that the achievements of blacks are as nothing compared to the will of Yahweh and His plan for His chosen people – a caveat, in short, that Yahweh Got Game.

2. Pro-marriage/pro-family.

1. Zionist/anti-miscegenation.  “Keep your filthy gentile hands off my Jewish ‘box’!” wails this hysterical horror flick at every opportunity.  The sanctity of the crusty, moth-filled Jewish “box” must be guarded at all costs and by all necessary violent means.  Significantly, when Miss Shandy tries messing with Emily’s “box”, a ghostly breeze enters the room from nowhere and the miniature American flag on her desk starts flapping energetically, signifying that whenever the national chastity of the Zionist “box” is threatened, spirito-militaristic Israeli-American patriotism will be invoked and wrathful Yahweh will visit neoconservatism mercilessly upon the earth.

IRRUSSIANALITY

Russia, the West, and the world

Muunyayo

Farawaysick for a High Trust Society...

Fear of Blogging

"With enough courage, you can do without a reputation."

Alt of Center

Life. Liberty. And the Pursuit of Beauty

The Alternative Right

Giving My Alt-Right perspective

Logos

| literature |

The Espresso Stalinist

Wake Up to the Smell of Class Struggle ☭

parallelplace

Just another WordPress.com site

NotPoliticallyCorrect

Human Biodiversity, IQ, Evolutionary Psychology, Epigenetics and Evolution

Christopher Othen

Bad People, Strange Times, Good Books

Historical Tribune

The Factual Review

Economic & Multicultural Terrorism

Delves into the socioeconomic & political forces destroying our Country: White & Christian Genocide.

Ashraf Ezzat

Author and Filmmaker

ProphetPX on WordPress

Jesus-believing U.S. Constitutionalist EXPOSING Satanic globalist SCAMS & TRAITORS in Kansas, America, and the World at-large. Jesus and BIBLE Truth SHALL PREVAIL!