Isaacs

Father Ghetto “Spike” Sarducci is boycotting the Academy Awards. Pictured with him is tragic lynching victim and Motion Picture Academy President Cheryl “Bab” Boone Isaacs. In other developments, a formally attired Ellen Degenerate has reportedly bested James Bond supervillain Richard Kiel in hand-to-hand combat.

In the midst of the #OscarsSoWhite non-scandal, the conscientious neo-Stalinists at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences have announced a new “five-year plan” to bolster diversity in the Hollywood brainwashing industry. The hope is that, five years from now, each category of nominees will include at least one card-carrying NAMBLA trans orangutan with pink and green fur and a golden showers fetish. Token black Academy President Cheryl Boone Isaacs, who claims to have been a victim of racism herself, was “heartbroken and frustrated” at not seeing any negroid faces among those “honored” in the top performer nominations. “I am an Academy member and it doesn’t represent me,” puled Selma thespian David Oyelowo, who was “famously overlooked for playing Martin Luther King Jr”. Spike Lee has vowed to boycott the ceremony, and commented,

But, How Is It Possible For The 2nd Consecutive Year All 20 Contenders Under The Actor Category Are White? And Let’s Not Even Get Into The Other Branches. 40 White Actors In 2 Years And No Flava At All. We Can’t Act?! WTF!!

What the fuck indeed, America?

Rainer Chlodwig von Kook

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