Rippedpublicans: Where the Action Is!

 Randbo

Rand Paul is

PAUL RANDBO

“Do we get to wonk this time?”

“You don’t seem to want to accept the fact you’re dealing with an expert in political warfare, with a man who’s the best, with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. A man who’s been trained to ignore polls, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a Democrat puke.” – Campaign Manager Col. Trautman

 

Scarf Face

Chris Christie is

SCARF FACE

“You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little fork!”

“What makes you so much better than me? What do you do? Kill people? Shut down bridges? Real contribution to human history, Christie! What makes you think you can be a president? You don’t even know how to be a good governor!” – Mrs. Scarf Face, Elvira Hancock

 

The Tedinator

Ted Cruz is

THE TEDINATOR

“I’ll roll back.”

“All right, listen. The Tedinator’s an infiltration unit: part man, part machine. Underneath, it’s a hyper-alloy combat chassis, microprocessor-controlled. Fully armored; very tough. But outside, it’s living human tissue: flesh, skin, hair, blood – grown for the cyborgs.” – Future Pundit Kyle Reese

Advertisements